Leggo My Preggo
by neofailz
Summary: Jessie's pregnant...and James is the father! Too bad they can't even remember their "special night". Oneshot. Please don't comment on the title, I have no idea. Rated for a lot of sex references hooray.


Haha I couldn't get this plot out of my head all day (as of a couple weeks ago). I suppose it's not totally original but I want my own take on it anyways heheheh.

NOTE: This isn't gonna be a sad story or anything so I don't want anyone to get too worried about something that might be a sensitive subject 3

EDITED NOTE: Another Rocketshippy author posted a fic that starts off basically exactly the same as mine. I started this at least a few weeks before she posted hers, the similarities are absolutely coincidence. And it's actually really weird, too. Like, legit. But then they definitely go off onto different paths after, like, the second paragraph pfft.

* * *

A frightening, girlish scream resonated throughout the cabin.

James jumped three feet in the air in shock when he heard (what he assumed was) his partner's voice. He waited a few moments, recovering from the initial surprise, before quickly hopping off his bed and running over to the bathroom.

"Jessie?" James opened the door a crack and peaked his head inside, hoping to any God out there that she wasn't naked (oh, what she'd do to him). "Are you, um, okay?"

He found her slumped on the floor of the bathroom, with something he couldn't see in her hands. She was visibly shivering and shaking her head in what seemed like disbelief.

Meowth hopped in the room not long after James appeared. "Jess? Why'd ya scream?" She just shook her head as a reply so James and Meowth got more up-close and personal.

She looked terrified. Her eyes were wide open and her mouth was agape. It was as if the impossible had happened.

It finally occurred to the two boys that she was staring at whatever was in her hands. They turned their heads around to see a short white and purple stick, with an LCD screen displaying a small plus sign.

James raised an eyebrow and turned back towards his red-haired partner. "What's this thing?"

Meowth's eyes were now as wide as hers. "J-J-Jessie...no way..."

Jessie shook her head again. "I'm...I'm pregnant."

James' eyes widened. "You...you...what?"

"I'm _pregnant_!" she yelled.

Meowth kept looking back and forth between Jessie and the pregnancy test. "I didn't even know youse had yer cherry popped..."

She flushed. "...I didn't either."

"WHAT?" James and Meowth screamed in unison. "What does _that_ mean?"

"I don't know! I don't remember ever doing..._that_ with _anyone_!" she said hesitantly.

James glared at her. It wasn't as if they were dating or whatever, but he never expected her to just go out for a night of 'fun' like that. He had thought she knew better. "Jessie that doesn't make any sense. Why did you even use a pregnancy test if you didn't have sex with anyone?"

"When I talked to an old friend of mine back at Team Rocket Headquarters last week when we were there, I was feeling sick and she told me my symptoms sounded like a pregnancy..." She glared back. "And stop acting like this is as bad for you as it is for me! I'm...I'm having a baby and I don't know how!"

When James saw the tears pricking at Jessie's eyes, he softened slightly. Maybe she really didn't know? But that led to nothing but more confusion. And when confusion calls, Meowth is the answer (occasionally)! He turned towards the feline for a reply only to see the cat looking more guilty than he'd ever seen before. "...Meowth?"

Meowth flinched and rubbed the back of his head. "Oy vey, this is not good. I just remembered something."

Jessie turned around to join James in screaming, "WHAT?" at their partner. "What do you know, Meowth?"

Meowth looked between their faces before speaking. "See, I didn't wanna tell youse two this to keep things from gettin' awkward. But I guess we can't avoid it now...so, do youse remember that New Years' party last month?"

Jessie thought for a second, pointer finger resting on her chin, before shaking her head. "I remember getting completely drunk, but that's about it."

James nodded. "Same here."

Meowth chuckled in his head, wondering how the two were going to take this news. "Well, uh, let's just say youse two had a very eventful night. _Together."_

After a moment of contemplation, both of their faces turned completely red in realization. Jessie dropped the pregnancy test and James slumped to the floor.

"I'm going to have _James' _baby?" Jessie screeched.

At the same time, James yelled, "I had sex with Jessie?" In his mind he cried, now knowing that he would never be able to remember his first time. And although he didn't _think_ he loved Jessie that way, he could easily admit she was a great-looking woman and he wouldn't mind being able to recall the images of that night.

Jessie glared at him. "Forget _that_, we've got bigger problems!" She motioned to her stomach, which wasn't any bigger than normal. "I...I can't believe this...this is very, very bad..."

James couldn't help but stare directly at her stomach. Was there really a life growing in there? And was it really a mixture of his and Jessie's genetics? He smirked in his head, knowing that was one lucky kid. They'd be absolutely gorgeous. "I...uh...wow..."

Meowth rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, uh, youse two tell me when you get this whole t'ing sorted out, okay?" Meowth hopped out of the bathroom, not wanting to get pummelled by Jessie. Especially now that she was pregnant, she'd be even moodier than normal. _That_ was his greatest nightmare.

Jessie slumped onto the toilet, her arms falling to her sides. "I can't believe I'm pregnant...I'm not ready to be a mother..." She covered her face with her hand and groaned. "Please tell me this is just a nightmare..."

Guilt shrouded over James. He knew he was partially responsible (if not more) for what was happening. And this wasn't any kind of laughing matter; not like usual when something bad happened because of him. He turned towards Jessie, determination evident in his eyes, and got on his knees in front of her.

She raised an eyebrow at him. "What are you-"

"I may not know how..." James kept himself fixated on her bare stomach. "...but I'm going to be the best father I can be for this baby. I'll make sure he or she has a home and food and everything, just like a dad should."

Jessie was more than surprised. She expected James to be taking this a lot worse, not accepting it so quickly and...almost eagerly. "James, I..." She paused, not knowing how to react.

He hesitated momentarily before wrapping his arms around her waist and placing a gentle kiss just above her navel. They both blushed slightly at the contact and she spent the next minute staring at the top of his head. After the initial awkwardness wore off, Jessie smirked slightly. "And how do you intend to do all that?"

James paused, staring into space. "Well, I'll have to tell my parents about this at some point."

Her eyes widened. James would consider returning to his parents, even only momentarily, just for their child? "But what about Jessibelle?"

He smiled sadly. "My parents are strictly against...erm, sex before marriage...if they knew that I'd done that, they wouldn't even look twice at the kid. So if we want our child to grow up with all the luxuries I had, we'll have to...um, pretend we're married..."

She smirked at his embarrassed expression. He was really being...well, he was being very mature about this. She couldn't help but be surprised. "Okay," she answered quietly. James lifted his head up in surprise at her nonchalant answer, and Jessie smiled back at him. "But I thought you didn't enjoy the rich life?"

He chuckled. "Well, _I _didn't, but it was mostly because of Jessibelle. If need be, we can always take our kid back before my parents decide on anything like that."

"And what are they gonna say when they find out they weren't invited to the wedding?"

He blinked twice. He actually hadn't thought about that. "Well...they know how I feel about them, whether they want to admit it or not. They'll probably assume we eloped." The thought of the two of them married was starting to grow on the blue-haired man, and he blushed slightly. What would this situation do to their relationship, anyway?

She nodded in agreement. "Um...when do you wanna tell them?"

He hesitated and smirked. "Not for a while still. I mean, it's only been a month, right? We've got plenty of time."

She nodded and he finally removed his arms from around her waist. Immediately after standing up, Jessie followed and wrapped her arms around his neck, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. She didn't notice him tense up immediately and she dropped her eyes to looking at his shirt instead of his red face. "...thank you, James."

* * *

"Jess, are you sure about this? I mean, me and Meowth could take care of it-"

"No way! I'm perfectly capable of performing my job just like normal!"

"Youse two ready? They're coming."

Ash, Dawn, and Brock walked slowly down the Route 212, chatting idly. The three of them were returning from a trip to Pastoria City, where they'd heard about some sort of pokemon contest going on. Unfortunately, it was just a rumor; the three of them headed back on their journey empty-handed. But hey!, it happened. They were happily mentioning the recent absence of Team Rocket when they got their usual speak-of-the-devil moment.

"Listen, is that a voice I hear?"

Brock sighed. Ash and Dawn both swatted their faces, wondering how the trio managed to have such _timing_. Normally it wouldn't be surprising if the villains listened into their conversation, but they came out at _just_ the right time. They were an uncanny group of morons.

"It's speaking to me loud and clear!"

"On the wind!" Jessie fell into a dramatic pose.

"Past the stars!" James mirrored her.

"In your ear!" Meowth chanted, jumping in between the two.

"Bringing chaos at a-" She paused, realizing she was falling off-balance. The twerps noticed and raised an eyebrow each, before she continued. "-a _breakneck_ pace!"

James looked over at her worriedly. "Dashing hope...putting _fear_ in it's place..."

She got the hint and stood up straight, letting the motto fall apart. The trio's pretty, sparkling background of stars and moons fell away, leaving them as plain, old Team Rocket. Jessie stormed over to James and grabbed his shirt collar. "I _told_ you already, I'm _fine_! Don't worry about something stupid like that!"

The twerps were bewildered. Honestly, they'd been a little worried, too. Jessie _never_ messed up during the motto. Neither did James or Meowth.

"Well sorry for worrying! It's not my fault that you're in a delicate situation!" James shouted at her, exasperated.

She flinched, and turned away from him. Meowth didn't say anything, just stood there rubbing the back of his neck. Jessie turned towards the twerps. "Fine, our motto's ruined, but we can still battle! Go, Seviper!" She threw her pokeball in front of her gracefully, allowing her snake pokemon to burst out of it excitedly.

"Seviper!" it yelled.

Ash, Dawn, and Brock looked at each other skeptically. Team Rocket randomly doesn't show up for two or three days, and when they come back they decide to take the direct approach? The last time they didn't involve costumes or trickery in their attacks was so long ago they couldn't even remember.

"Hey, Pikachu, let's just take care of them fast, okay?" Ash didn't want to admit how disappointed he was about the nonexistent contest in Pastoria. He just wanted to get back to where they were going, and fast.

"Pika, pika!" the small pokemon replied. It hopped in front of the three trainers and poised, ready to fire.

Nobody except for James and Meowth noticed how abnormally close Pikachu was to Jessie. If it fired from there, who knew what could happen?

Just before Jessie was about to command her pokemon to attack the electric-type, Ash screamed out, "Use thundershock!"

Jessie's eyes widened and she threw her arms over her face for protection. However, it was unnecessary. James, at the sound of Ash's voice, had jumped a few feet in front of Jessie in an attempt to take the blow for her. She opened her eyes, wondering where the attack went, and let her mouth hang open at the sight of James' charring body.

"J-James?" she questioned. Her reply was a small explosion, which sent her blue-haired partner flying through the air. Meowth's reaction was much like her own, he was shocked at the man's actions.

Brock's eyes were wide open. "Wha...did he just take the blow for Jessie?"

Dawn blinked twice. "He _did_ say something about her being in a 'delicate situation'..."

Ash scratched his head. "What does _that_ mean?"

Jessie ignored their questions and turned around, running in the direction James flew. Meowth lingered behind for a second, and glared at the twerps. They didn't give any sort of reaction, leaving the cat to sigh plainly. In all honesty, they _would_ have to be some of first to know, wouldn't they?

He opened his mouth, and quickly closed it, figuring out how to arrange the words. He shrugged, deciding on the simplest solution. "...Jessie's pregnant." He turned and ran after said woman, chuckling at what he'd seen of the twerp's reactions.

Ash's eyes were wide, and so were Dawn's and Pikachu's. Piplup had been sleeping in the coordinator's arms, but she clumsily dropped him in shock of the news.

Brock's reaction was a little different. He repeatedly opened and closed his mouth like a magikarp, trying to shake off the immediate disbelief. "Jessie and James are...oh God..." He grabbed his head in his hands. "How could I never see it before? It's so obvious!"

Dawn turned to the older boy, confused. "Brock, I didn't know they were married! Did you know that?"

He flinched, realizing that Dawn didn't completely understand what had happened between the older villains. However, he didn't feel like it was his responsibility to give yet _another_ young pokemon trainer 'the talk', and went along with her. "N-no, I didn't! Pretty weird, huh?"

Ash raised an eyebrow at Brock from behind Dawn, as if to say, "You told me babies and marriage don't actually have to do with each other!" Brock just shrugged in reply, motioning to Dawn with his head to imply how she didn't understand the situation quite yet.

* * *

"James?" Jessie called out to him. "Argh...you idiot! James! Where are you?" In her worry for her partner, she still hadn't noticed Meowth's absence. She kept trailing through the forest, hoping to find the father of her future child in one piece.

She heard a loud groan resonate through the trees. Her immediate reaction was to run towards the source of the sound, not paying any attention to her surroundings. When she saw a hint of white and blue, her spirits picked up and she quickened her pace, wanting to thank (and yell at) the man in front of her.

Unfortunately, in all the excitement, she failed to even look down at the tree root sticking out of the ground in front of her. It snagged onto her foot, sending the woman flying right on top of her bruised partner. She landed awkwardly on top of him, with her legs spread around either side of his head, and her face slamming into the ground just below his crotch.

James grunted when he felt a large pressure on his entire body, and hastily opened his eyes. He was greeted with the underside of Jessie's skirt, which sent heat up his face. "This isn't exactly what I expected to wake up to..."

Jessie squirmed on top of him, not waiting long to flip herself onto the ground next to him instead. "...I tripped."

After a second, Jessie's actions and words seemed to kick in and James jumped up from his spot on the ground. He crawled over to his partner and hugged her waist, leaving his head to rest on her stomach. "Are you okay? You didn't get blasted off, too, did you?"

She flushed slightly at his actions. He was so touchy-feely these days, it was even more than normal. Not that she didn't like it, or anything. "...no, I'm fine, James. I told you to stop worrying so much!" Her voice was harsh but she had an appreciative look on her face.

He smiled brightly at her, glad for her and their child's safety. He'd quickly come to terms with the situation and barely understood just how happy he felt about it. Until this whole pregnancy thing started just a few days earlier, he'd never really considered ever becoming a father or a married man. But with the accident, his paternal instincts seemed to kick in and he wanted nothing more than to be with Jessie, the mother of his child, for the rest of forever. To her surprise, he silently hugged her tighter, sending a bit of red to each of their faces.

Then Meowth showed up.

"What are youse two _doin'?_" Meowth slurred. That was definitely one of the positions he hadn't expected them in. "You ready for another one before the first one even pops out?"

They both blushed fiercely and yelled at the cat for a next few minutes, but he smirked and took notice that neither of them denied anything.

* * *

He woke up to her loud, raspy coughing. Worry immediately coursed through his system, and he sped over to Jessie's room in a hurry. He found her huddled under the covers, coughing and holding her stomach tightly.

"J-Jessie? What's wrong?" James flipped the sheets off the bed and leaned over her.

She coughed again. "I...don't feel good..."

James felt immediate panic. Did this mean something was wrong with the baby? He'd only known about its' existence for maybe a week and something was already _wrong_? This was too much, even for karma. "Do you need to go to the...the hospital?"

She shook her head and rolled onto her stomach. A rush a pain shook through her body and she arched her back upwards, scaring the hell out of James. "N-no, I'll just...go back...sleep..." She flopped onto her side and tried to ignore the pains in her stomach, desperately aching to fall back asleep.

James didn't listen to her words, only her grunts of pain. He carefully lifted her up into his arms and, to his own surprise, easily carried her out of the room. He kicked Meowth's bed roughly, waking the cat. "Hey Meowth, something's wrong with Jessie! I'm gonna take her to the hospital...you coming?"

After the first sentence, the feline had already awakened completely and jumped out of bed. "Yeah...is she okay?" Meowth stared at the woman in James' arms, who was shivering slightly, coughing loudly, and still had her arms wrapped around her torso. Especially for a pregnant woman, it looked bad.

"I don't know, she didn't say anything." James tried not to let his voice show how worried he was as he carried her into their car. It was a good thing they'd stolen it just the other day, or they'd have to take the balloon out. The balloon was comfortable, of course, but it was horrible to use at night. No light source anywhere.

* * *

He was jittery already; when they called him out of the waiting room and into the emergency room, he just got worse. Meowth clung to James' leg to keep up, and the blue-haired man stepped cautiously into the white-walled room. Jessie was awake and staring absentmindedly out the window, which just scared the man more. She obviously didn't know he was in the room.

The doctor who'd been staring at a clipboard next to her noticed him, and motioned for James to follow him back outside the room. After a moment's hesitation, James followed the professional.

"...what's wrong with her?" James asked quietly.

"Nothing much physically, to be honest," the doctor answered. James' eyebrows raised in shock. "She's got a bit of a stomach virus, which is why her abdomen was hurting so much, but other than that there's nothing serious. However she seems to be fixated on thinking she's pregnant...do you know anything about this?"

That news slapped him in the face. "Wha...what do you mean? She was...never pregnant?"

The doctor shook his head. "Erm, no. She must've used a broken pregnancy test. I'm sorry if this is bad news for you." He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "So the virus should dissipate within the next few days, and then Jessica will be right back to normal! She's already heard all of this, so if you'd like to talk to her she should be well-informed." And with that, the man walked off.

James nodded while in a daze, and Meowth had dashed over to the nearest bathroom just after the doctor finished talking. He slowly walked into the emergency room and stared at Jessie.

She was still staring out the window somewhat apathetically, but James swore there was a hint of depression in her eyes. She almost looked like she wanted to cry.

"Jessie..."

She jumped at the sound of his voice, and turned around quickly. At the sight of her partner, she turned back around and quickly wiped away a foreign substance on her face. "S-so, did you hear, James? I'm not going to be a mother, after all! That's gr-great news..."

He frowned. Her voice was shaking. Obviously his paternal instincts hadn't been the only ones to kick in; Jessie had become excited about the baby just as quickly as he had. He walked over to her bed, she was still facing away from him, and hugged her shoulders from behind.

Her eyes widened. "Wha?"

"It's okay, Jessie," he cooed softly. "It's...it's okay..."

She bit her bottom lip, immediately understanding what James was saying. She really couldn't hide her feelings from him could she? "I...I don't even know why I care all of a sudden...it's not like the baby died or anything, it just...never existed! Th-there's nothing wrong with...with that..."

"Jess..." James turned her around to hug her more fully, and she embraced him in return. They stayed like that for a few minutes when James decided to break the silence with something he would regret immediately after. "You know, if you ever want to have a baby, I'm always available to help you out!"

Jessie lifted up her head and stared at him uncomfortably, and he replied with a confused look. After a second, his face turned completely red, and he waved his hands in front of his face. "W-wait! That's n-not what I...er...!"

The redhead started to chuckle and she leaned forward, quickly pecking James on the lips. He shut up immediately. "Thanks, James. I'll keep that in mind."

They both chuckled together, and Meowth stood outside the door, rubbing his head. If those two started having sex, he'd never get another night's sleep again.

* * *

Wendy sat at her desk, typing away at the computer with a bored expression on her face. She hadn't heard anything from Jessie after giving the woman a rigged pregnancy test, and was dying to hear the woman's screams of surprise. She probably had sex regularly, with that outfit and body, so she'd be out searching for the father until she realized her stomach wasn't getting any bigger!

She chuckled to herself at just the thought. Maybe she didn't want to know what actually happened. Sometimes things work out better in a person's head than they do in real life.

* * *

ahahaha. I can't believe I finished this. First fic for my neofailz account! HUZZAH. hey Michiku, sorry the beginning is so similar to one of your fics. I'm absolutely serious when I say that I read your fic and went "holywow". ANYWHO wow this is such a dumb fic. Wendy is from the episode "Dues and Don'ts" btw. also if anyone wants to comment on how quickly everything moves in this, I know XD BYE


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